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Digital detective mother

Last post 12-02-2008 11:05 PM by belgariontheking. 13 replies.
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  • 12-01-2008 5:22 PM

    Digital detective mother

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    Once upon a time, my always overjealous mom started having thoughts that maybe, and just maybe, my dad could
    be cheating on her.  So using her vast computer knowledge, she decided to search through my dad's computer files.
    When my dad got home late, tired, from his workday, he noticed something was amiss.  Not that anything was
    wrong with the house "per se", more like that feeling you get when everything is just... too quiet.

    - Honey, I'm home.

    Nothing.
    Definitely, something was wrong.  My dad started searching through the house, to find my mother on their
    bedroom, sitting at the corner, only the lamp on.

    - Hi honey, is everything ok? - dad asked.

    - Sure.  Couldn't be better.  How was the work today?

    - As usual, tiring.  And how was your day?

    - Just fine. - and that's the time she dropped the bomb - So, who is she?

    - She who?

    - Don't you play with me.  I know it all.  Answer me, who is she???

    - Are you crazy, woman?  I don't know what you're talking about!

    - Tell me!!! I've seen it with my own eyes!!! I know it all!!! Do you think I'm stupid??? - my mother,
    now, with tears rolling through her face - DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHAT COOKIE MEANS??? I KNOW IT!!!
    COOKIE MEANS CUTIE!!! WHO'S THE B***CH CALLING YOU CUTIE OVER THE INTERNET?!?!?!?!?!

    And, to this day, my poor dad has to set cookies=off everytime he browses the web.

  • 12-01-2008 8:20 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    Nightshift:
    COOKIE MEANS CUTIE!!!

    Your mom sounds kinda cookie, er, I mean cute.

  • 12-02-2008 3:40 AM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    Is she does this kind of thing to him often, he probably is cheating on her.

    You can never have too much time, luck, shelf space or spare duct tape.

  • 12-02-2008 8:21 AM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

    Reply Contact
    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party. Human relationships are TRWTF.

  • 12-02-2008 10:29 AM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    vonNeumann:
    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party. Human relationships are TRWTF.

    And this is why I only date androids.
    "Void* is not actually void*" - Best error message EVER!

    My method of measuring code quality is to ask myself if I would rather have herpes or maintain the code in question. In this case I would choose death by herpes. --akatherder

    People who work in VB or any variant thereof are not programmers, they are circus chimps throwing feces into an IDE... --chebrock

    My dad chased him off with a shotgun, which apparently pissed this guy off so much he felt the need to strip naked, sit in the middle of his front yard, and chop up live kittens with a machete to feed to his pet boa.

  • 12-02-2008 12:35 PM In reply to

    • lolwtf
    • Top 150 Contributor
    • Joined on 04-02-2008
    • (null)
    • Posts 173

    Re: Digital detective mother

    Reply Contact
    vonNeumann:
    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.
    (null)

  • 12-02-2008 3:25 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    lolwtf:
    vonNeumann:
    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.
     

    Agreed. My girlfriend is all jealous about girls I work with, even though she is the one that lives with her boyfriend. Go figure.

  • 12-02-2008 5:18 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    Kiss me I'm Polish:

    lolwtf:
    vonNeumann:
    Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Second.
     

    Agreed. My girlfriend is all jealous about girls I work with, even though she is the one that lives with her boyfriend. Go figure.

     

     

    Doesn't that mean she lives with you?

  • 12-02-2008 5:23 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

    Reply Contact

    vonNeumann:
    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party. Human relationships are TRWTF.
     

    If your dad stops getting cookies from those skanky websites, maybe your mom wont be getting suspicious!

    In any case, tell your dad to password protect his computer next time... O and in this instance, blame microsoft, they invented cookies!

  • 12-02-2008 5:57 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    astonerbum:
    O and in this instance, blame Netscape, they invented cookies!
     

    FTFY

  • 12-02-2008 7:58 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

    Reply Contact

    vonNeumann:
    Actually, no, she's probably cheating on him. Typically the first to start bandying accusations about and being jealous and suspicious is the guilty party. Human relationships are TRWTF.
    Given past experience, this is more of a rule than the exception. When your S.O. launches the jealousy first strike, you're being cheated!!!

    Of course, it could be who you're dating/living with is insane; in which case you're better off alone, lest you end up being the basis for Fatal Attraction 2.

  • 12-02-2008 8:28 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    galgorah:
    And this is why I only date androids.
    I only date military androids.

    Or gynoids, to be more precise.

    Ban FB and bring back MPS - he had a much cooler username!
    Legendary Thread
    lolwtf: Instead of comfy chair, package contained bobcat. Would not buy again.
    curtmack: It's like Godwin's Law, but instead of Hitler it's xkcd references.
    morbiuswilters: Right, but the Holocaust wasn't nearly as bad as xkcd.

  • 12-02-2008 9:09 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

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    This is why I only date hard-light holograms.

  • 12-02-2008 11:05 PM In reply to

    Re: Digital detective mother

    Reply Contact
    This is why I only date girls my wife will never find out about.
    SpectateSwamp: I can see you. You don't have to hide anymore. C'mon out and play!
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